Life is wild. It can send us spinning in almost every other direction. Nostalgia can take us back to old memories and gloss over the hard times or true feelings. Life can seem so slow to develop but also seems to so quickly pass us by. It’s almost like you need two lifetimes in order to make your dreams come true. Or a second “go round” to perfect all the mistakes you made.
Were they mistakes though?
Feelings are strong and they come from our deepest selves. They are not meant to control us but to serve as a guide.
When you remember what made you happy about a certain time in your life, remember that was YOU. Not someone else. And relish that moment. Treasure those memories.
The only thing more certain than death is change. It is going to happen. In any form. And even death is a form of change. We all battle these waters differently and storms hit each of our ships on their own will.
As I have reflected on the past year of my life…taking time away from corporate America, seeking change. and now living in change. I can see how easily it is to get wrapped up in fear and nostalgia. Wishing for things to stay the same after you have worked so hard for them to be so different.
When people say change is scary…you may think “it’s really not.”. But they don’t mean scary as in a scary movie. Rather, they mean a subtle growing fear that keeps you from making decisions. And if you make those choices the fear grows into possible regret, the unknown, the what if’s & the why did I do this.
Get comfortable with change. Embrace it’s waters. Find the beauty in not knowing and not being beholden to have all the answers. I always say, “I am so glad I am not God. I can barely decide what I want for breakfast, let along all the other things God would probably have to do.” It sounds silly, but it is so true. We as humans were not made to have all the answers. We were made to live in the moment, make mistakes & be happy with each other.
If your community, job, lifestyle or immediate surroundings don’t make you happy here are my top tips for “change”.
- First: Change YOUR perspective. Ask – am I being positive? Am I being grateful? Am I looking at the good in this situation and getting excited about what is unique here?
- Second: Healthy Distence. If a friend group, job or place makes you unhappy after you try and make a shift (shifts can take weeks! Even lifetimes depending on what is being shifted) and you find you are perpetuating unhealthy thoughts / patterns / unhappiness create some boundaries around the things that cause this making time & room for better people and things.
- Third: Make a game plan. Take a calculated risk. Save your cash. Find a new bar. Join a new after work club. Try a new gym. Move to a new apartment. Build a side hustle or search for new jobs.
- Forth: Reflect on what used to make you happy. Nostalgia is tricky – but some things are emotional triggers for us. Sometimes going back to those can either bring us closure or give us new ideas on areas we can explore again or “Get back to” emotionally if we remember a really happy / healthy time in our lives. How can you find that again given your new circumstances?
- Fifth: JUMP. At some point you will just need to make the change. Quit your job. Accept a new job. Make a move. Reach your savings goal and open that business (find an accountant!). Take a BREAK from your significant other. Tell your friends you are BUSY. Take a vacation.
Change doesn’t always mean you have to “Eat, Pray Love” your way through life making drastic choices traveling the world feeling all the things. Sometimes it just means listening to yourself, remembering the good times, remembering TODAY is your good times of tomorrow. Finding a new commute. Going back to an old commute. Finding new friends. Or realizing your old friends are just fine. Maybe you finally understand the grass is not greener on the other side and you go back to your roots. Or maybe you open yourself up to new possibilities & to meet new dating prospects / jobs / locations.
Just remember, life is precious, and although we all face these rough waters. Remember they have been faced before and will be faced again by you and many others. See the good in every single moment and create your happy place wherever you are. Those are the memories you have control over making good TODAY so you can remember them fondly tomorrow.