Friday Coffee Date: [Real Talk- Change, Friendships, and Goals]

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Last night I had dinner with a good friend, Kelley. She was one of my first friends playing rugby and helped me out insurmountably with getting to know the sport, understanding it, building my confidence and just being by my side when I was nervous for my first game or in uncomfortable situations.

These types of Friends are few and far between. They are special. And you almost always have to say goodbye to them when you aren’t ready to, because that’s life. It’s full of change. Often these types of people are inspired and outgoing individuals who flow with the tides of their lives, coming and going as they push towards their dreams.

This makes it hard for the rest of us, sometimes we feel left behind, sometimes we let fear set in when our best friends leave for the seas of change. Change is scary, especially when we aren’t the ones instigating it.

Kelley and I for the past month have had date nights on Thursdays, we called them Thursday Inspiration Dates. 

These dates were for us to get together and discuss our dreams, vent about life, and remind confident in our goals. How could we reach them. Glow about upcoming successes on our horizons. Practice for that job interview one of us wanted to nail. Get excited for Rugby season. Chat about our significant others. What book we were reading.

Last night was our “last” evening of Thursday inspiration before Kelley leaves this Tuesday for Australia. I was so caught up at first with feelings I had a hard time focusing on being present ( I was also starving).

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When chatting, I asked my friend:

“What do I do if I don’t get this opportunity?” Regarding something I had been waiting          to hear back on with work.

“You just keep applying- you just keep trying to make it happen.” She said.

I know that doesn’t sound like something so profound. But it was. At that moment I realized where my head should be at. Instead of dwelling on the uncertainty of the future, the fear of losing my friend, the fear of not getting what I want, the fear of opportunities to come through, I should just keep moving.

I realized, that’s what she was doing, she decided to keep moving. Every day she made a little progress towards her goal of moving abroad. Every day she kept on chugging forward in her career. Sometimes you have to grind, as long as you don’t lose sight of your goals, something will happen eventually if you make it. There is no sense in fearing uncertainty, embrace it and control the little bit of your life that you can. Yourself.

Instead of fearing the loss of my close friend, embrace it! Get excited for her to move towards her dreams, use it as fuel to move towards my dreams, use her momentum to spur my own and be there for her when she needs a friend and misses home.

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We decided to start a long distance book club- which I am sure she will write about in her blog and have a monthly or weekly Skype date (whatever life allows). This will be a great way to keep in touch and still feel like we are living life as friends together without being close.

Long distance friendships, in my opinion, are harder than long distance relationships. You can break up, meet a new man or woman, get back together, you name it.

“There are plenty of fish in the sea,” as they say.

But good people and good friends are few and far between, I am just lucky I have Rugby and Athletics to bring me together with good people more often than not. No matter how far away my friends and I go.

Hope these Friday thoughts have proved fruitful for you- until our next chat. 🙂

What are some of your struggles with uncertainty or losing a friend? Let me know!

XOXO Mal

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